Already got asked if we're dating
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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