It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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