Kareoke will never be a sober sport
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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