The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
