Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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