He kissed a someone with a penis
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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