The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
