This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
