Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
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