Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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