best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
