we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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