8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's never too late to be topless.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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