But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
