WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
