Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
