I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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