Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
