please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
