Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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