i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.