she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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