Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.