all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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