don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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