I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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