Duck Duck Cougar?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
