Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
