none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.