that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.