They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.