She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
