We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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