I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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