Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
