you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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