I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
