hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
