i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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