Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
