I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
