Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
