hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey