She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.