ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays