Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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