remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
