It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
