well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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