i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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