I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
