i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
