oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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