NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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