God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
