Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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