why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
