Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
