I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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