my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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