Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
