so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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