His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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