Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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