Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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