Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
