did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
