Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
